Breaking Free From Child Abuse

When His Identity , his soul was literally ripped away from him he lost his ability to trust people and still does . It makes your sense of being hyper sensitised to the point where I couldn’t be in the presence of male authority figures because of the horrible traumatic experience I went through… I had to find myself ,find out who King is-he hopes his story of recovery will inspire others to not give up and to keep fighting

When you have gone through any form of child abuse whether it’s Mental or Physical abuse or both your identity as a child is stripped from you and in my case that exactly happened but if there Is anything to be taken away from my story it would be that I have been enabled to live a normal life despite the struggles I face to this day .

Going through a horrific traumatic experience from the perspective of a young child between five years old too twelve and a half years old , however its not limited to a specific age group nor is it limited to just boy’s but I can only speak on my experiences having gone through it.

It started with Mental Abuse back in 1990 so I was five at this point, it would be a constant barrage of mental abuse in a form of toxic phrases which lasted up until I was around eight or nine years old everyday being confronted with it on top of being bullied at school but I digress, wrapped up into mental abuse is Emotional Abuse which was in the circumstances was by far the worst especially when your brain etc is still fully forming so my child hood was non existent entrapped in a void of one for a better word ,hell.

Between 1990 and 1995 I endured Mental and Emotional Abuse-at this time I was nine years old : a very shy timid little kid I would withdraw from any social situation or particularly any where I could be alone some of the aspects of what I went through I won’t share because I want the end part of this to be positive and not so much a sad one.

But I’ll just say this imagine being chained to wall and being whipped with whip and other violent treatment .

Reaching the age

of nine is an important milestone for any child because you are starting to develop your own sense of identity ,your personality etc however in my instance that was not the case as I entered the Physical Abuse Stage which entailed all of the above : Punches , Kicks, whippings from an old belt buckle every day all day with the severity increasing .
 I want to tell about what I lost through all this in terms of me . How my soul was lost , my identity, and ultimately me, King-everything I had been and everything I could become.

Lets start at the very beginning, with Billy Byrne , the tenacious, hard-working, and outgoing young guy. Sure there were issues in my upbringing but let’s be honest who hasn’t faced difficulty?

At the age of 16, almost 17 I felt lost, alone yet I was going to college to further my education and this is where I began to make the first step on the road of Recovery although it wasn’t easy but In the process I gained a friendship that has lasted .

If you had asked me, what it did it take? i wouldn’t have had a clue as this was relatively still happening which ties into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which we all know is typically diagnosed too men and women who serve in the military in war torn countries with horrific experiences but unfortunately anyone who goes through any type of abuse etc will to some degree experience PTSD either immediately or years later .

The first priority immediately was sorting out my Anger issues which I sought help from the on-site Counsellor at this college I went too, combined with forming a friendship I was slowly seeing a brighter side, a more hopeful outlook.

And You know, I had to learn how to converse in a social situation, one on one or in a group setting as I was still inhabiting the non social cues that I was taught, over the years I have got a lot better due to Self Care which is important for me, I’d contribute that too my progress along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, CBT.

I use the techniques that I’ve learned outside of CBT to further my recovery although it is not Linear it takes effort and time to put into action .

you are capable of recovery

--

--

--

Mental health sufferer, writer , podcaster, LGBTQIA+ billybyrnexxox@outlook.com

Recommended from Medium

Double down on self-destruction

Five Tips to Living a Happier Life

My Struggles with Border Line Personality

A Bit On Trauma

Lamentable Disabilities

I Deleted My News App Today

I’m Sorry For What I Said During PMDD Week.

The Aftermath of Another Mass Shooting: Processing Grief

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Billy byrne

Billy byrne

Mental health sufferer, writer , podcaster, LGBTQIA+ billybyrnexxox@outlook.com

More from Medium

Where Are You?

Forgiveness Depends on Grace But Forgiving Yourself Relies on Personal Growth Too

Borderline Personality Disorder

Dissecting the Digital Paper Trail of a Toxic Ex-Friend